Problems with dating a divorced dad
You compare your children to their mother or father when they show similar behavior. Even though we argue sometimes and get mad at each other, he is a good person and we move forward.You hate your ex, so sometimes when any of your children act like your ex, you remind them by saying, "Oh you're just like your dad/mom! I know many people do not have this blessing, but still — keep your sh*t together and forge ahead.Many men in this situation fall back to a younger adult mentality of late night partying and ill-advised romantic involvements.Instead, focus on using the experience to emerge wiser and more prepared for what is next in life.Remaining stagnate or regressing are traps that usually lead to even more heartache. Divorced men can experience less trauma and create positive growth.There are ways to rebuild life and be a better parent.Most do not realize the destructive paths they are going down until a lot of carnage is behind them.All the stages of grief come with divorce: shock, denial, anger, and acceptance.
At the same time as rebuilding begins, there needs to be an emphasis placed upon not regressing to less- developed former states.
Let me guess: Tonight was Dad's night, but something suddenly came up for you and your kids. (Of course, there are exceptions to this rule.)If you're angry at your ex for cheating/leaving/hurting you or anything under the sun, you have every right to be hurt and angry.
Go ahead and lick your wounds but do not let your bad feelings keep your kids from having a relationship with the other parent.
Sitting around and listing every single thing your ex does wrong just so your child can get your ever-so subtle hint that his or her parent sucks is using your kid as a messenger boy or girl to deliver this sweet note: Let your child figure out on his or her own that a parent is a deadbeat!
Don't complain to your children; they're not your therapists. You squash all attempts for your ex to spend time with the kids. I say "his" because more often than not, but not always, the mother has more custody time than the father.
Do you want your son or daughter to grow up comforting you forever or being your therapist? Your kids don't need to know that the reason you're not going to Disney this year is because Daddy didn't pay his child support and alimony this month, or because Mommy is shopping her money away.